Stoner or No?

I’m not a very good stoner, never was and never will be. I smoke. I get incredibly stupid. I can’t talk. I eat. I sleep. But oh the sleep! The sleep is so wonderfully delicious that I think the stupid and the gorging on junk food are a reasonable price to pay.

While I was at the University of Oregon, there were two post-keggar pick up lines: “Would you like to come back to my place for a cup of tea?” and “Wanna go smoke some weed?” I fell for that pot trick on two occasions. Both times I became violently sick and threw up the copious amounts of beer in my belly. But I was a university student, smart enough to realize that pot just wasn’t my thing.

Living in the Land of Legal Weed

2015 found me traveling around Oregon in my 21’ Chinook RV and three faithful companions, Luna, Loquita, and Pequeña. That also happened to be the year marijuana was legalized in Oregon. All the driving and sleeping in awkward positions on an uncomfortable RV bed had done a number on my back so I went to my physical therapist for help. Our conversation circled around to efficacy of marijuana for pain. That little nugget put a grand idea in my head. So at the next opportunity, after much deliberating, and giddy as a schoolgirl, I hit the head shop in Tillamook. Talk about culture shock! This was not the head shop of my university days. I could not believe how clean and organized and well run the place was – and the staff was incredible! I was happy to discover that my physical therapist was spot-on, a couple tokes before drifting off to sleep made a world of difference to my aching back.

Fast-forward to November 2016
Todos Santos, Baja California Sur, Mexico

I had arrived at my new property ready to begin the second half of my life. I spent the last week of September and the entire month of October clearing 15 years of weeds, garbage, rotten mangos, and chicken carcasses in the heat of hurricane season. With that project nearly done, I fell deathly ill with what I would learn was life altering Lyme disease.

Lyme disease is a funny thing. There are a huge variety of symptoms and few “lymies” experience the same symptoms, but there are a couple nearly universal symptoms, namely body aches and serious sleep issues. In the weeks and months after my initial Lyme ‘flu, I tried every pharmaceutical remedy for both pain and sleepless nights. Nothing worked. I finally wised up and remembered that I had some remnants of my Oregon stash. The result was nothing short of miraculous! Not only did it ease my pain and allow me to have a good night sleep, it seemed to help lift the depression that descended on me when I was diagnosed with this life-altering disease.

I don’t like to damage my precious lungs, so I was ecstatic when I discovered how to make these incredible brownies – my daily dose. I have altered the recipe to make them as Lyme-friendly as possible. Technically, they do not adhere to my Lyme diet of No Gluten, No Sugar, No Dairy, No Booze (see more here). When I make this I use gluten free flour and a 50/50 stevia/sugar blend. It isn’t ideal, but it is a whole lot better than 100% sugar.

These days, I have a sweet bedtime treat every night and I sleep like a rock until the cocks begin to crow. Maybe I am a stoner – a very good stoner!

CannaButter

Ingredients

• 1 cup unsalted butter (you can also use olive oil, coconut oil, or regular vegetable oil)
• 1 cup cannabis

Directions

• Preheat oven to 245°F (120C)
• Decarboxylate (decarb) the cannabis – lay cannabis on a cookie sheet and toast until redolent, 30-40 minutes for moist buds, 15-20 minutes for older/dryer bud
• Melt butter in a small sauce pan
• Grind toasted cannabis and add to the butter
• Using a double-boiler, or a modified double-boiler, simmer cannabutter over the lowest heat possible for 2-3 hours, stirring occasionally
• Strain butter using cheesecloth or a fine sieve, do not squeeze the cheesecloth as that could lead to bitter butter (I save the cast-offs and add them to soups or stews – the Swiss blood that runs through my veins hates to waste)
• You can use immediately or refrigerate in an airtight container for up to one month
• The yield will probably be less than one cup, so you will have to add enough to make one cup for the brownie recipe below

Fudgy Brownies

Ingredients

• 1 cup unsalted butter, cannabutter, olive oil, or vegetable, melted and HOT
• 2 tablespoon cooking oil, (olive oil or coconut oil are fine)
• 2 cups sugar or stevia/sugar blend
• 4 large eggs
• 4 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
• 1 cup all purpose (or plain) flour or a gluten-free flour blend
• 1 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt

Directions

• Preheat oven to 350°F (175°C).
• Lightly grease a 9 x 13 inch baking pan with cooking oil. You can line it with parchment paper (or baking paper) but I prefer not to; set aside
• Beat the eggs in a small bowl using a fork or a small wire whisk for at least one minute
• Combine hot melted butter, oil, and sugar in a medium-sized bowl and whisk well until thoroughly mixed. Add the eggs and vanilla; beat until lighter in color, another minute or so
• Mix flour, cocoa powder, and salt in a second mixing bowl. Gently fold the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients until JUST combined (do NOT over beat as doing so well affect the texture of your brownies)
• Pour batter into prepared pan, smoothing the top out evenly. Chocolate salt is my secret ingredient for a slight twist on the classic brownie
• Bake for 20-25 minutes, or until the center of the brownies in the pan no longer jiggles and doesn’t spring back when touched with your finger (the brownies will keep baking in the hot pan out of the oven). Do not test with a toothpick
• Remove and allow to cool completely before slicing into roughly 2” squares
• Enjoy!